Just what happened to that young man?

09Feb10

There was this young guy I used to be. He was all full of piss and vinegar and was virtually fearless. He was damn-near immortal. What happened to him?

I was reminded of him today when I came across a video slideshow that was on my short-lived director’s reel. It was from back in 1999 When I was shooting more ‘tests’ than jobs, but I was shooting a lot of jobs, too. The slideshow, or photo montage, was a simple 3 minute fade-in/fade-out of my stills set to music that would run just before the music videos I’d directed.

http://www.josephanthonybaker.com/data/web/JAB_reel_test_web.mov

Certainly none of the images in that montage are what I’d today call masterpieces. I was making loads more visual and technical mistakes back then, but it didn’t really matter because the sense of fun and excitement was evident in spite of those mistakes. At least I think it was. Or am I just remembering the fun that young guy was having back then? Most of those images are some shoe-string versions of Hollywood technical wizardry I’d thrown together with 1/10th the budget I really needed, or they were just me and my camera and a semi-willing subject out in the California high desert. I was making images because in my being I absolutely had to do it. I couldn’t not do it.

These days my commercial projects’ budgets are much bigger than ten years ago, and the devil-may-care approach has been replaced by the ‘play-it-safe’ card much of the time. I must deliver what it is I think the client wants (or has specifically asked for, to be fair). Gone are the days of visual experimenting. Now if I want to do that I make it fairly complicated on purpose. Now ‘testing’ (what we have taken to calling ‘personal projects’ because it sounds more professional) involves putting the right creative ‘team’ together, holding meeting after meeting to make sure that in the end I’m gonna get EXACTLY what I have in my head onto the printed page (or on the website, or in the contest, or … on and on). Today I absolutely have to make images for far less passionate reasons, reasons with which most adults with kids and a mortgage are familiar.

That’s not a cop-out, it’s just reality. Life snuck up on me when I wasn’t looking. Well that’s not really honest either … I chased this life I now lead with that same passion I’ve always had for things I wanted. Desired. Coveted. Things change over time, I suppose. Evolution moves at a slow pace until you look in the rear-view mirror.

So as I sit here typing this, my first blog entry, I’m hoping it is a call to (creative) arms to my older and current self. And as public platformed pep-talk, I’ll remind myself, the rare images I fight clients or publicists tooth-and-nail to do for my commercials jobs (shooting Taylor Swift under water, Kellie Pickler in a infinity-mirror-box) win awards in international photo annuals.

OK … so the old guy still has some tricks up his well-worn sleeve.   And now he has a producer for all the nasty details. Oh, you’re in trouble now young gun. Just you wait and see what’s next. Just you wait …

Alright, I feel a little better now. But I’m exhausted.

(So this is what this whole blogging thing is about isn’t it, talking to yourself in public. Well I don’t rightly understand it all, but I’ll giver ‘er a try.)

Filed under: Inspiration, Photography   |  16 Comments